I Hate Goodbyes

Sweet Veeran. I will miss his running and jumping into my arms so much!!!

Sanjay!

Tonight was the last night here at the Rising Star campus for me. We leave for New Delhi in the morning to spend a few days touring and playing around and then flying home. Goodbyes are the hardest things for me. I don't like to cry, in fact I hate crying, and I feel like part of me is being taken away when I say goodbye to those that I love. We had a little concert of Life Dance and the choir at the school for us to say thank you and goodbye. I really wish that I got to stay the whole summer and just spend so much more time to get to know every one of the kids. I think the hardest moment for me was when one of the girls who I adore and would love to be able to sponsor, Anu, came up to me and we were sitting and playing and she asked me about something that we would do tomorrow, and I looked at her and said that I leave tonight and she just burst into tears. I was about to cry myself it broke my heart and made me so sad. I love love love that she cares that much but don't want her to be sad. I can't wait to send her a letter with a picture of the two of us so that she can have that forever (hopefully she will like it). Some of the girls from my house came over to say goodbye and they were sobbing as they said bye to all of us. It just tears me apart to see people that I care so much about in pain and sadness.

Jennifer, Anu (in the middle), and Poonga (all sweet girls from my house and all crying.

Right before I told her I was leaving she was dancing around so beautifully. Oh how I love Anu!

However, I am excited to be able to take away so many new things into my life. There are a countless number of things that I have learned about myself and others that I can't wait to be able to keep doing in my life to keep this memory alive. I have always known that I am so blessed, but to what extent, I never realized. I am so thankful for all of the things that I have available to me in my life. I never realized that I had so many things, I always just realized the things that I did not have that other people had. Here, people have so little, that they are so happy with the things that they do have. Happiness is a choice and not something that is given to you. I have been so much happier here than I have ever been. I haven't had a bad day. I haven't been mad. I haven't been upset, angry, or hateful. I have just had so much love, joy and excitement in my heart that I want to share with everyone. I also have been reminded how actions speak so loudly. Here, so many of the people don't speak the same language as I do, I don't speak their language and they don't speak mine, so I have to find other ways to communicate with them. A simple smile, a tough of the hand, a hug, a laugh or even looking them in the eyes as they speak. You can spin around in a circle with one of the young children who don't speak English, or hold the hand of one of the leprosy patients as they get their ulcers cleaned and are in pain. Different things can show how much we care and love. Having so much love for these people is so easy. It makes it sad to think that I have envy, anger towards, frustrations with, and fights with people at home. I don't want to go home and think negative thoughts towards people. I want to be able to show them love and be so happy with everyone around me. It takes too much energy to have negative feelings. Happiness is the key to life. 

Breaks My Heart

Today was such an emotional day. It was truly heart wrenching. On our way to one of the colonies there was a motorcycle accident that we had to go around and we saw them putting someone into an ambulance, but on the way back there was blood on the road. That was just truly sad. I don't know how to describe my feelings today. I pray for him and his family that they will have peace and comfort through whatever happens.

Kaylee, Me & Aubrie on our way to the colony

At the colony, it was amazing. I just love seeing the happiness and smiles on the people and how much they care for us and how thankful they are that we come and help them every two weeks. The last man that had his wounds cleaned was my favorite. His name (I believe) was Joseph. He and his wife were both there and both had huge open ulcers that had to be cleaned and it just looked so painful. After they cut out some of the dead skin and disease from the one on his foot, they went to one on his finger. It didn't look too bad at first. You would ahve thought that they would just cut around the outside, and then clean it and be done. The doctor had to cut inside and move the scissors around inside of his finger and cut out more of the disease. Then she proceeded to push the infection out from inside of his hand, causing him to be in even more pain. This whole time we were sitting there just in silence, Kaylee and I  were holding his hand and rubbing his back while he was wincing in pain, yet being so strong. You could just feel that he was in so much pain and he was so used to it. He has been in pain for so much of his life and he doesn't take pain-killers, he doesn't have anesthesia when they are being cut out of him, and he doesn't cry, complain, or say anything about the pain that he is in. I admire the people on the colonies who don't have a choice but to be there because of a disease that they might have or might just be somewhere in their family history.

Joseph and I at the beginning

This sweet lady helped us to clean out the water after every washing and fill up the water bucket. She was so silly always trying to set us girls up with any single man she could think of! 

I can't help but smile all the time. I don't think I have ever been so happy in my life.

I went to find the bathroom and the lady that was taking me took me to all these different peoples homes to meet and talk to them and it is so sweet they tell me all about their families and it is so hard to understand them most of the time but I just sit and listen, smile and nod and try to pick up whatever I can. She asked me to take a picture of her and I believe these are her children (who I think she said are at Rising Star) in the pictures. 

Joseph and myself. I have so much respect and love for him. I would love to be able to have a real conversation with him and learn about his life. If only I spoke Tamil. One day...

Our sweet driver Anandan talks about his daughter, Privita, to us all of the time. When we stopped in the junction today he went over to her preschool and took her out for a few minutes so that we could meet her! I love how proud he is of her and how much he loves her. She is such a beautiful girl. She was so shy and bashful but I still enjoyed being able to meet her! 

Happy Days

Education day! Sometimes they can be hard because I feel like the kids don't want to work, but I feel like the more I do them, the more I am in love with the kids. I just have the best kids every rotation during the day even if they are difficult sometimes. I just want them to learn and grow and be happy about it. No one wants to read or do homework when they hate it. There is always a way to make it fun. However, today has also been a hard/sad day. My two favorite boys, Veeran and Sanjay (best friends) asked me when I leave, because they know most of the volunteers leave on Wednesday. Only the long term volunteers will be here longer than that (until August) and so I had to tell them that I was leaving this week. They told me I was lying and were mad at me because I am really staying until August. Oh how I wish that were true. I don't want to leave yet. I'm just not quite ready to say goodbye. It has to be a see you later, because there is no way this is goodbye. 

Ellie with a bunch of the kids that she loves! So fun. Interval (recess) is great!

Me with Veeran, Jennifer, Priya, Anu and who is on the very left I am not sure who! She just hopped into the picture! 

Reading time with Sanjay! We talked about where India is and he asked where America was and where California is and where Florida is! (Florida is where Carl is from)

Pretty Anu! I just have fallen in love with her. 

I love Veeran! He wanted to take silly pictures during lunch! 

Ellie did a beautiful job of henna on my foot! I love it!!! 

Sweet Abarna, the house mother of the "family" that I visit every night did a beautiful job of henna on my hand! I just love it. 

Veeran and his little brother, Vignesh. They are SO CUTE. 

Of course, once again a picture of Veeran and Sanjay with myself. They love my water bottle so much. If I bring it with me they will take it from me to drink water. Don't worry...I wash it every day. 

After school, we have play time every day from 430-6. Today it was arts and crafts that the volunteers had brought! I helped out in Sandra Rigby's room where she did tissue paper animals! It was so fun and bless her heart she was so patient with them while there was never ending chaos through the whole thing. The kids, however far they got through the projects loved it. Some put three pieces of tissue paper on, some sat and did the whole thing, but they did what made them happy.

Vijayalakshmi and I am not sure the boys name. They were working hard! 

Look at that great butterfly he is working on! Props to him for working so hard! 

The two best friends I adore. 

Okay, they were being so so so silly and I had to put it on my blog. 

How can you not smile and laugh while watching them?

Veeran gave me the fish he name! So kind. 

Anu and her artwork. Such a beautiful girl! 

Because I Have Been Given Much

I have so much joy and happiness in my life. I can't even express fully how happy I am to be here in India. I knew that I would be happy. I knew that I would love it and it would be something so different than I had ever experienced. I had heard from others that it would change my life, that I would fall in love with the people, place and surroundings, but I did not realize to the extent that it would truly affect me. I have fallen in love with everything about this place. There is something about coming and giving myself completely to others and not worrying about anything for me and being able to help them in ways that I did not realize were possible. I need to be more Christ-like in my daily life and in my actions towards others. I need to be a better example every day and be a follower of Christ so that others can see why I am so happy. I wish everyone could have this kind of experience and spend time around these people who have so little, yet have everything in the world. They live with the bare necessities, sleeping on the ground, no A/C, no microwave, or cars, yet I sit around and will complain about things like emptying the dishwasher if I don't want to. I am just lucky to have a dishwasher and to have such appliances in my life that make my everyday living more pleasurable for myself.

Side note: I love Aubrie! She is such a wonderful example to me every day. She reads conference talks and her scriptures and writes in her journal and you can just tell she has the Spirit with her. She lives her life and has fun but is always kind, loving, and accepting of everyone around her.

How thankful I am to belong to a church that I know is so true and it is exactly the same no matter where I go. I mean I have been to church at many different buildings in random places in the United States, but never halfway across the world. I knew it would be the same church, but sometimes there are those thoughts about it being different or just I guess a fear of the unknown. I had the most wonderful time in Relief Society here, which is usually my most dreaded hour of church, learning about Elder Hollands talk about the Laborers in the Vineyard from General Conference October 2011. The gal giving the lesson was so sweet, earnest, fun-loving, and full of the spirit and a confirmation herself that the lesson was true. She had been inactive for a fair amount of time, has gotten her life back in order recently, and is now planning on serving a mission. She was so real about everything she talked about and the worries we have in life and the confusions that we all face. I am so grateful to have been able to be there for her lesson and to meet her. She will truly be a fantastic missionary wherever she gets called to.

This song has been running through my head for the last two days. It hit me at church when we sang it for the opening hymn and I just had this wave of "wow" hit me like I had never heard the lyrics to the song before. I have always known that I am blessed and need to share with others and give love and kindness but I think sometimes I get so caught up in myself and my life and forget to really give to others. I try to give service, but sometimes I don't think that I really think about it and give it my whole heart. I will forever hear this song and think of India. I will forever try to give service to those around me and to share what I have with others in my life. "I have been changed for good." I want to stay changed and not let this be a short lived experience. I want this to be permanent in my life and real. Not just a three week fantasy that I lived. I can do this. I can be better.

"I shall give love to those in need, I'll show that love by word and deed"

Mamallapuram

This weekends trip was to Mamallapuram, a beach city that has a lot of shopping and different things! 

These are the ruins that are here. 

Kinda cool, I didn't really check them out more than just taking the pictures. 

I still can't get over the fact that everywhere we go there are cows walking on the street and they are more respectful of cows on the road than people! 

Just an interesting picture, They stand on the counters here and never wear shoes. Something very different than in America but so normal here! I could just get used to this...!

I don't really like fish...at least the smell of fish. These were sitting in front of me for way too long! Bleh! 

My meal!!!! Ha. Just kidding! However, I did try it! This is the fifth one up from the bottom on the precious picture...weird. 

So...sometimes I lose things. It can be an issue. I went into so many shops to find a churdidar that I liked and could bring home and kept looking at different fabric. I left my water bottle in two places and the owner would come out after me and give it to me! The third time I was not so lucky! I forgot about it for about an hour and was in a totally different spot so I had to walk back a while later and luckily it was still there! I made Vel (pn. Veil-one of our drivers) take this picture of me because I was SO excited to have my water bottle. Okay, okay. It's the small things that matter to me here! I love my water bottle! 

Bay of Bengal! We were down on the beach for a while. This is the only time that I have missed home at all! I just was loving it and wishing I was there with my family and friends at home. 

It is so interesting to me to see things like this because I had no idea that things were still done in the ways you read about in history. I guess I am just so used to a certain way of life that it is a surprise to me to see new things. 

I loved these boats! I thought they were so fantastic!

This cute little family was there and they wanted us to take pictures of them. The parents were off to the side! 

I love this. So beautiful! 

Shore temple. It is a five story Hindu temple. There are so many beautiful rock carvings of everything around it. Such intricate things must have taken so long to make. 

Kind of fun. I was meditating...or pretending to.

Fitting me for my sandals! There are a few shops that make completely handmade sandals that I am excited to bring home and wear. They are beautiful and leather and you can watch them be made! 

One of the men working on my shoes. I think it is so fun to be able to bring home something that I will use like sandals from India to have as a souvenir for myself! 

I love this place and never want to leave. I might miss my flight? Oops...

A Smile Goes A Long Way

I am so happy to go to the colonies every few days. They make me so happy. Today we went to one of the smallest colonies that Rising Star deals with. There were five patients that we saw. When we first got there we got to walk around the colony and meet some of the people that live there! It was so amazing to talk to some of them and hear a little bit even if it was hard to communicate! 

This is one of their homes.

You see this kind of thing everywhere. Cows pulling a cart of some sort and a man. If they have paint on their horns they are a "better" cow than ones without. (When I say cow I am not sure if I mean water buffalo, oxen or bulls...)

This is the first picture I have been able to get of a pig. They are everywhere and run around all the villages and colonies. 

This sweet woman just kissed my face and my neck and hands and was so grateful and happy to see us. It was the sweetest thing how happy and loving she was and you couldn't help but just be so happy around her. 

This is her (above picture) husband! They were so sweet to each other. He said that they have been married for 60 years! Crazy! You could tell they were still so very much in love and so caring for each other. He had apparent leprosy that we treated and she came and just was with him while he was in pain and helped him walk back to their home after he was treated. His eyesight was going due to the leprosy because he can no longer close his eyes and they are sagging. It was so sad but so touching how sweet and kind and happy he was nonetheless. 

This sweet baby that Kaylee is holding was so fun to be around. He looks mad, but that was just the look that he had the whole time he was around us! He danced and giggled but didn't smile very much. We just were happy to have a cute baby to hold that wouldn't cry or scream when he saw us! 

Kaylee, Me, and Callie with the sweetest man that was there. I just adored him and he had the sweetest smile. 

This cute boy was ADORABLE. 

Sweet little girl Robbie and her mom. They were laughing at us when I caught this. I thought it was beautiful!

Kaylee and Amy were dancing with Robbie! 

It was Anan's birthday (one of the RSO drivers) and he bought us all chocolates and sugar cane. He is so sweet to us!

So we stopped by a "giant emo chicken farm" on the way back from the colony. Oh wait, it was an Emu farm! Anan kept telling us it was an emo chicken farm and that they were giant. We were slightly confused by this and thinking it might be a statue or just fat black chickens? Not so sure. 

Scary face I have, I know. Kaylee was telling me about her fear of birds and moved and scared me just as Amy took the picture of me with the birds! 

Emu! 

A turkey that was at the farm! 

Kaylee and Amy on the teeter totter! So cute!! 

Once we got back to the campus, we had a water fight with the kids. Needless to say, it was a blast! We ran around chasing each other with buckets of water and pouring it on them and catching kids and making sure they all got wet! We had so much fun just being silly and enjoying being cooled off by the water!