I Hate Goodbyes

Sweet Veeran. I will miss his running and jumping into my arms so much!!!

Sanjay!

Tonight was the last night here at the Rising Star campus for me. We leave for New Delhi in the morning to spend a few days touring and playing around and then flying home. Goodbyes are the hardest things for me. I don't like to cry, in fact I hate crying, and I feel like part of me is being taken away when I say goodbye to those that I love. We had a little concert of Life Dance and the choir at the school for us to say thank you and goodbye. I really wish that I got to stay the whole summer and just spend so much more time to get to know every one of the kids. I think the hardest moment for me was when one of the girls who I adore and would love to be able to sponsor, Anu, came up to me and we were sitting and playing and she asked me about something that we would do tomorrow, and I looked at her and said that I leave tonight and she just burst into tears. I was about to cry myself it broke my heart and made me so sad. I love love love that she cares that much but don't want her to be sad. I can't wait to send her a letter with a picture of the two of us so that she can have that forever (hopefully she will like it). Some of the girls from my house came over to say goodbye and they were sobbing as they said bye to all of us. It just tears me apart to see people that I care so much about in pain and sadness.

Jennifer, Anu (in the middle), and Poonga (all sweet girls from my house and all crying.

Right before I told her I was leaving she was dancing around so beautifully. Oh how I love Anu!

However, I am excited to be able to take away so many new things into my life. There are a countless number of things that I have learned about myself and others that I can't wait to be able to keep doing in my life to keep this memory alive. I have always known that I am so blessed, but to what extent, I never realized. I am so thankful for all of the things that I have available to me in my life. I never realized that I had so many things, I always just realized the things that I did not have that other people had. Here, people have so little, that they are so happy with the things that they do have. Happiness is a choice and not something that is given to you. I have been so much happier here than I have ever been. I haven't had a bad day. I haven't been mad. I haven't been upset, angry, or hateful. I have just had so much love, joy and excitement in my heart that I want to share with everyone. I also have been reminded how actions speak so loudly. Here, so many of the people don't speak the same language as I do, I don't speak their language and they don't speak mine, so I have to find other ways to communicate with them. A simple smile, a tough of the hand, a hug, a laugh or even looking them in the eyes as they speak. You can spin around in a circle with one of the young children who don't speak English, or hold the hand of one of the leprosy patients as they get their ulcers cleaned and are in pain. Different things can show how much we care and love. Having so much love for these people is so easy. It makes it sad to think that I have envy, anger towards, frustrations with, and fights with people at home. I don't want to go home and think negative thoughts towards people. I want to be able to show them love and be so happy with everyone around me. It takes too much energy to have negative feelings. Happiness is the key to life.